“Sufletul dumneavoastra este ca shi piine calda”
(translation: “Your soul is like hot bread”)
--My partner, Viorica, speaking to our Peace Corps Country Director, Jeffrey.
This week our American Country Director (whom lives and works in Chisinau) visited my village. After the one-year mark of service, the PC Director travels to each volunteer’s city or village to meet with their Moldovan counterparts and speak with the volunteer about how they feel about their work with Peace Corps and their host community. I feel more pressure when my Moldovan Program Managers (for Health Education) come to my village because they speak Romanian and notice my language mistakes… not like that’s a focal point of our work, but Jeffrey doesn’t speak Romanian so I translated for him throughout his visit. Viorica and Ecaterina, particularly Viorica, were nervous about his visit. In the Moldovan culture I know, the head boss—typically a man—is expected to be cold, dominating, and critical. Jeffrey smiles often, has a joyful disposition, and insists on being called “Jeffrey” instead of “Domnul (Mr.) Jeffrey”. He really blew my partners out of the water. They even commented on how he ate the pureed potatoes served to him from our school cafeteria. I think they expected him to turn his nose up at plain food. Viorica said to me that I have to find a man like him to marry. Of course, Jeffrey is over 40 years old and married with a child, but I understood her point. Viorica said that she wishes her husband were like Jeffrey, gentle and kind.
Viorica said a lot of nice things about me when speaking to him… so it was a pleasure to translate. Moldovans will always lie to cover up your faults for you if the boss comes even when you insist a million times that you don’t have to lie—because that’s what you’re expected to do—so some she clearly exaggerated (ex: telling him that I’m “perfect” made us all laugh)—but some of her other comments made me feel very nice and I hope she truly feels that way. She told him that she doesn’t know what I’ve said about her, but that that working with me has been such a joy to her and such a plus in her life as a nurse. She told him that I’ve become Moldovan now instead of American (o Moldovanca) from how I can cook, heat my house with a fire, and dress like a Moldovanca (Moldovan women have their own… flair). She told him that she loves being around Americans because we’re so joyful and open and that often Moldovans hide. She also said that Americans live lives of relaxation and that Moldovans work while Americans are able to rest well, often, and take vacations for rest. Not all true, of course. I tried to explain that PC volunteers and our lifestyles as volunteers are not a good representation of the American population and that PC volunteers in general are not a good representation of America. Most volunteers are educated and come from economically secure situations. Many are well travelled and often share certain liberal ideals pertaining to diversity and cultural acceptance. Viorica didn’t understand what I was saying and thought I meant that volunteers are literally a bad representation of America so we had a little laugh. I don’t know how to explain this concept to her. Not all Americans want to be PC volunteers and not all Americans will be PC volunteers. It’s a special and very small sect of Americans from one very large and diverse nation of people.
Viorica appreciates my openness and honesty about things I approve or disapprove of and told Jeffrey: “Ea spune adaveratul” (“She speaks the truth”). I’ve observed that most people in my community hide their feelings if it might create conflict with anyone higher up the SES ladder than them (ie their boss, or anyone else in the village who makes more money than they do). People are scared to say what they think and I can sometimes understand this attitude. If you live in your mother’s mother’s house and are relatives with every third person in your village, your labeled role, responsibilities, rights and capabilities have already been judged and decided for you. I have a lot of privileges as a volunteer and cultural outsider because I’m not necessarily expected to conform to this. I’m also assumed to be wealthier than other people in the village because I am American. On the other hand, I’m female, I’m young and unmarried so it’s not always expected that I will be as blunt as I am, but I’ve come to find that people respect this. Why should I lie to the nurses at the medical center when they see me on the street and ask me why I don’t volunteer there anymore? Why should I not respond: “Because going there is a waste of my time when the staff don’t give me anything to do”, if this is the truth? I’ve said some things and asked some questions that might only be normal and expected by people used to living in a (mostly) democratic society.
I believe that the directors of our school believed that Jeffrey partly came to evaluate the school, because they opened the downstairs bathrooms to try to prove to him that our last volunteer’s grant was completed… though it is NOT complete, still, nearly 2 years after it should have been functioning. The bathrooms are still left locked and our school director, Mr. Balan, assured me this past week that the toilets were finished and would be unlocked for use (female-only use) this current week. PC approved the grant because the indoor bathrooms were supposed to cut down the risk of disease transmission (hepatitis, etc.) among ALL students. But, because of the myth here that cold weather or air currents can damage female reproductive organs, the school staff has frustratingly insisted to me that the indoor bathrooms should only be for girls. I asked Mr. Balan this past year why only girls should be allowed to use the bathroom indoors, and he told me it’s a female health matter and that I should consult a nurse for explanation.
Viorica told me that she heard there is a problem with the “canalization” and told me to not tell anyone that she told me this. So, I will take this as meaning that the toilets were probably built with Mr. Balan’s knowledge that no proper sewage/septic system exists… so the toilets cannot be flushed, and therefore will not be able to be used. I don’t understand if Mr. Balan is holding this information from me out of shame, or if he believes that PC will try to take the money back if they find out. PC would not try to take the money back. It would be impossible, anyway.
The toilets are still not installed so the bathroom still has holes where those seats should be. I was shown the boxes for them this year ($400 of materials), but don’t know what happened to them now. I hate assuming the worst, but it wouldn’t be a far-fetched idea to assume that one of those toilets has been installed in the director’s house.
Teaching is going well, but Christmas vacation will be a much-needed break. I’ve found myself become more frustrated with the students that I would like. I smile less during class (and in general) and need to be reenergized for next semester.
In some ways winter has been nicer than this fall. Gathering wood, cleaning and lighting my soba (“furnice”) every evening takes up at least a couple of hours of my day so I feel more occupied. I try to keep my house a constant 70 degrees, which is … amazing. Sometimes I add too much wood and the room and my soba wall (which heats up from the fire on the other side) is far too hot. It’s really an art where I have to learn how much wood to add, for how long, for what temperature desired. I don’t know how I survived last winter when all I wanted was for my bedroom to be above 55 F. However, Valentina told me this is Moldova’s warmest winter in 40 years, so we’ll see how things go in January. I plan to buy a bag of coal soon because “carbon” burns longer and hotter than wood. It’s a bit messy to clean, but it will be nice to have a fire burning for long periods of time once the temperatures drop below freezing.
I’ve been running nearly every day this past week. Last winter I was pretty depressed so I’m taking every measure this year to better care for my health. So far, I feel emotionally healthy this winter. It’s like being on a different planet. I hope to keep it up.
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