Just under 4 weeks until I leave now. PC has a lot of paper work for us to complete before COS (end of service) so today is rainy and I will probably be on this.
I spent the past few days in Chisinau and visiting with another volunteer friend in her village. Once I'm away from my house for a bit--spending time with friends and volunteers--it can be very hard to return home. The village is sometimes a nice refuge, but often it has also been a very lonely place. I think I will probably enjoy being in a social environment next year, living around other people that I feel comfortable with and with whom I can easily, freely communicate.
I had a little riff with my host family when they came home the other day which is a shame. I had planned my end of 2 year celebration for Sunday and so invited a few American PC friends to come stay at my house to meet my Moldovan colleagues. The night before the party my host family showed up unannounced with food to make a BBQ (around 10pm). They were not happy that two of my friends had put their backpacks in one of the bedrooms of the larger house (casa mare) as it would be more comfortable for 2 to be in there and 2 in my casa mica--for space reasons. My host sister was with her husband, his mother and sister and they moved my friends' bags out of this one bedroom and into the hallway near the exit of the house. I didn't really understand at that point why my host sister was mad at me, but I was a bit upset that they hadn't called to tell me they were coming to the village. I told her that I wished they had called to tell me they were on their way to the village (from Chisinau where they live) so it wouldn’t be a surprise to me when they show up and she replied that the casa mare is their space and the casa mica is my space and that I should never have anyone “foreign/unknown” in their home. I had never thought of the situation that way as I was given a key to the casa mare and asked to leave doors open during the summer to air it out. Plus, last June the brother of a friend of mine from home visited me in Moldova and I let him sleep in one of the casa mare's bedrooms. My host sister was home for a day while Michael was at the house and must have observed his belongings in the larger house, but didn't say anything about it or seem to have a problem with us using the larger house. The family does not store any personal belongings in the casa mare as no one actually lives there, so there wouldn’t be a major fear of anything being stolen, and I certainly wouldn’t allow a person in the house who might destroy furniture. It's a bit confusing to figure out when and why the rules for how I could use the house changed over this past year. Whatever the case, I apologized to my host sister for the misunderstanding that might have been either a language misunderstanding or simple lack of communication (what can you do?) and I assumed the problem was resolved and that the rule was that I could enter the casa mare—as I was given a key—but that I can not invite guests unknown to my host sister into this space/area of their property.
Anyway, I decided to cancel my party for the next day as me and my volunteer friends felt uncomfortable/awkward about the situation. Plus, having X number of Moldovan community members at the house to eat outside that next day might have bothered the host family if they were planning to use the outdoor dining area. I left Sunday to go to Chisinau and when I arrived last night I tried to enter the larger house to get the telephone (as my host sister had asked for it when they were home) and I found that the locks had been changed. So, I suppose this is my host families way of communicating to me that they do not want my friends OR me to enter the larger house. It might have been a simpler, more adult solution for my host sister to ask me for my key when we discussed the issue than to switch the locks after I went to Chisinau. I have my space heater (issued by PC) in the casa mare because I left it there for my host dad to use while he was home… so now I need my host sister to return home to remove this for me. My hands are a little up in the air in exasperation on this one. We’re both speaking Romanian, but I’m apparently lost in the translation this time. I spoke a little with Viorica and Ecaterina (nurses) about the issue, but was careful to not make any accusatory statements, as nothing here seems to remains private. I’ve encountered some nasty, confusing conflicts over the past two years—typically on my own, solitary side with limited language skills—while fighting harder than should be necessary to spread peace and love. With four weeks left, I’m thankful that this is a situation I can peacefully and quietly leave behind.
I have another issue that I’m not sure how to deal with. I previously mentioned that the English teacher at school sold the books to students—for personal financial gain— that the last volunteer in our village shipped her as a gift for classroom use. I realize that the right thing to do is confront this woman in a peaceful yet assertive way, but dealing with conflict on this level is hard for me to do. I’m still furious about the situation and don’t know when I will have the opportunity to appropriately address the situation with her… Wish me luck.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Hanging out in the village
I did a massive clean out at my house this weekend and it feels great. I was going to have a few guests come to stay this weekend, but they ended up not being able to come (a last minute PC-scheduled meeting). I feel a little bummed no one could come, but it was good at least in motivating me to wash my floors, shake out my rugs, wash sheets, clothes, and everything in my kitchen. It usually seems to take at least 2 full days to clean my house. I don't know how it happens, but after a few days everything always seems to be covered in a layer of "praf" (dust or dirt). At some point I'll probably need to take the pad I sleep on outside to beat it. I'm glad I bought new pillows last year (non-feather) bc the ones the family left for me have some much dust I couldn't get the dirt to stop coming out of them no matter how long I beat them. I don't think that would have been very good for the respiratory system.
I've been feeling really positive about my two years here, but for some reason today I'm having a bout of irritability. Sometimes I get annoyed at where I live and the distance it is from the main road making it hard for other volunteers to visit me (or makes them less likely to want to come here). I realize I shouldn't take it personally if I rarely have friends try to come here to hang out, but I sometimes have these spells where I feel pissed off at my village location. My Moldovan colleagues here are amazing, the house I live in is super comfortable--especially now that it's not WINTER:)--and the people I'm renting the house from are also very kind people. Another major plus is that it only takes an hour and a half for me to get to the capital by bus. At least one volunteer is situated 5-6 hours away. So I have to remind myself sometimes that things could be a lot more frustrating. I have to remind myself that next year I will be living in a house where I will be able to have visitors more than once every 4 months because I will be living in a place where friends can't use "I don't want to hitchhike" as an excuse to not visit. You'll have to actually tell me that you don't like me or else you don't have a good reason :). I have to give a MAJAH shout-out to Alee for hitchhiking with me into my village this past winter when the only direct bus to my village from Chisinau was full. She didn't complain even though the whole situation must look sketchy as all get out to someone who isn't used to even being in Moldova.
Another thing on my mind that I find irritating--since I'm using this time to vent a little--is being called a "girl" or "little girl". I'm tired of people not thinking of me as an adult/woman. Typically my male volunteer friends (though not always the case) will be called "men", but most female volunteers I know (unless they are married) are introduced as being a "girl". I've been called a "kid" by at least one adult working at the school and many men have called me "little girl". At my last club meeting my partner told the kids that it was so nice for her, a "woman" from Moldova to meet a "girl" from America. She's maybe 33 years old while I'm 25 so I don't see as being a huge age difference. Her 14 year old daughter then later made a comment that if our club group does a BBQ before I leave, she wishes her mother to not attend because she thinks it would be more fun "without adults". Last time I checked, I'm also an adult. Anyway, I'm pretty much ready to be treated as an adult again independent of whether or not I have a husband. Side information: Moldovan females who have previously been married (widowed, divorced) are still "women"... because they have assumedly consummated their marriage. I suppose at this point in my post I should restate that my viewpoints do NOT represent the views of the US Peace Corps or US Govt... and my viewpoints and experiences are not representative of all Moldovan people and Moldovan culture.
I guess the point of me writing this blurb on self-identity and adulthood is to give friends and family at home the heads up that when I'm readjusting, you might find me less receptive to unrequested advice than I might have been in the past. I can't remember how I received unrequested advice in the past, but I would guess that I was a less confident person and thus more likely to listen with my mouth closed. I realize that when my friends and family give me advice on how to live my life they are coming from good, well-intended places, but after some of the experiences I have been through these past two years you might find me less warm toward your ideas. If I want your opinion on how I should live my life or how I should handle readjustment to the United States, I will be sure to clearly and directly ask you for your opinion. I know that I am currently the most capable and confident that I have ever been in making personal decisions and I am currently (and will continue) seeking space and freedom to exercise my right to feel like a grown woman and make decisions without the unrequested input of others. I hope that I will treat each of you the same way. I hope that I will never make anyone feel as if they are younger or less experienced that I am. I also hope that I'm not being too harsh with my rant on this, but I thought since I have already identified this major change in myself I would like to share it with everyone as it might change how I interact with you. If I ever make the mistake of treating anyone else this way--telling you how to live your life, or if I'm kind of cold or a general pain in the ass--you should call me out. (I might be a bit colder than I used to be, too, but maybe I'll write more on that one later). Self-analysis might get a little exhausting so I might let it go and have you form your own opinions about me. People like forming their own opinions, anyway. I know I do.
I guess that's about it on that subject.
This coming week should be fun... Tomorrow night I will go to one of my colleagues villages to help him with a week-long sports camp for the village kids. We'll play frisbee, softball, kickball, and I'm hoping soccer. By the way, if anyone knows where I could stream World Cup matches from the internet, hook me up! I'm pretty excited about the games starting and have been getting a bit of coverage on BBC radio. I bet I could find a radio station where I could at least get audio.
On the 11th of June I will be celebrating 2 years in Moldova! I will be going back to the Nistru river where we had our 1 year party. It should be a really fun night with BBQ and swimming.
I've been feeling really positive about my two years here, but for some reason today I'm having a bout of irritability. Sometimes I get annoyed at where I live and the distance it is from the main road making it hard for other volunteers to visit me (or makes them less likely to want to come here). I realize I shouldn't take it personally if I rarely have friends try to come here to hang out, but I sometimes have these spells where I feel pissed off at my village location. My Moldovan colleagues here are amazing, the house I live in is super comfortable--especially now that it's not WINTER:)--and the people I'm renting the house from are also very kind people. Another major plus is that it only takes an hour and a half for me to get to the capital by bus. At least one volunteer is situated 5-6 hours away. So I have to remind myself sometimes that things could be a lot more frustrating. I have to remind myself that next year I will be living in a house where I will be able to have visitors more than once every 4 months because I will be living in a place where friends can't use "I don't want to hitchhike" as an excuse to not visit. You'll have to actually tell me that you don't like me or else you don't have a good reason :). I have to give a MAJAH shout-out to Alee for hitchhiking with me into my village this past winter when the only direct bus to my village from Chisinau was full. She didn't complain even though the whole situation must look sketchy as all get out to someone who isn't used to even being in Moldova.
Another thing on my mind that I find irritating--since I'm using this time to vent a little--is being called a "girl" or "little girl". I'm tired of people not thinking of me as an adult/woman. Typically my male volunteer friends (though not always the case) will be called "men", but most female volunteers I know (unless they are married) are introduced as being a "girl". I've been called a "kid" by at least one adult working at the school and many men have called me "little girl". At my last club meeting my partner told the kids that it was so nice for her, a "woman" from Moldova to meet a "girl" from America. She's maybe 33 years old while I'm 25 so I don't see as being a huge age difference. Her 14 year old daughter then later made a comment that if our club group does a BBQ before I leave, she wishes her mother to not attend because she thinks it would be more fun "without adults". Last time I checked, I'm also an adult. Anyway, I'm pretty much ready to be treated as an adult again independent of whether or not I have a husband. Side information: Moldovan females who have previously been married (widowed, divorced) are still "women"... because they have assumedly consummated their marriage. I suppose at this point in my post I should restate that my viewpoints do NOT represent the views of the US Peace Corps or US Govt... and my viewpoints and experiences are not representative of all Moldovan people and Moldovan culture.
I guess the point of me writing this blurb on self-identity and adulthood is to give friends and family at home the heads up that when I'm readjusting, you might find me less receptive to unrequested advice than I might have been in the past. I can't remember how I received unrequested advice in the past, but I would guess that I was a less confident person and thus more likely to listen with my mouth closed. I realize that when my friends and family give me advice on how to live my life they are coming from good, well-intended places, but after some of the experiences I have been through these past two years you might find me less warm toward your ideas. If I want your opinion on how I should live my life or how I should handle readjustment to the United States, I will be sure to clearly and directly ask you for your opinion. I know that I am currently the most capable and confident that I have ever been in making personal decisions and I am currently (and will continue) seeking space and freedom to exercise my right to feel like a grown woman and make decisions without the unrequested input of others. I hope that I will treat each of you the same way. I hope that I will never make anyone feel as if they are younger or less experienced that I am. I also hope that I'm not being too harsh with my rant on this, but I thought since I have already identified this major change in myself I would like to share it with everyone as it might change how I interact with you. If I ever make the mistake of treating anyone else this way--telling you how to live your life, or if I'm kind of cold or a general pain in the ass--you should call me out. (I might be a bit colder than I used to be, too, but maybe I'll write more on that one later). Self-analysis might get a little exhausting so I might let it go and have you form your own opinions about me. People like forming their own opinions, anyway. I know I do.
I guess that's about it on that subject.
This coming week should be fun... Tomorrow night I will go to one of my colleagues villages to help him with a week-long sports camp for the village kids. We'll play frisbee, softball, kickball, and I'm hoping soccer. By the way, if anyone knows where I could stream World Cup matches from the internet, hook me up! I'm pretty excited about the games starting and have been getting a bit of coverage on BBC radio. I bet I could find a radio station where I could at least get audio.
On the 11th of June I will be celebrating 2 years in Moldova! I will be going back to the Nistru river where we had our 1 year party. It should be a really fun night with BBQ and swimming.
Monday, May 31, 2010
"Coming-of-age" discussion
I went outside to dump food scraps and noticed my host dad drinking shots with my partner's husband. Host told me to come over and have 20g. When I told him "no thank you, I had 50g at school today" he pointed to his bottle and said it couldn't possibly have been the same kind of liquor that he has.
So, we had a drink and discussion about urbanization... The "coming-of-age" discussion about Moldova's development. It's interesting, he said that the young people now in Moldova are becoming more like the young people in Italy (where he works). Lazy, not wanting to work on the land, only wanting technology like computers. He said that he believes computers are destroying peoples' minds and lead to psychological illnesses. That developed countries have more people suffering from psychological illness--caused by computers, lack of nature--than somewhere rural like in Moldova. My partners' husband agreed with him that they don't want Moldova to become urban like parts of America and Europe (I am adding the word "parts" into this paraphrase, but I am not assuming that when they spoke about urbanization in America and Europe that they only meant certain "parts"... Most people I have met imagine America and Europe as being covered with sky-rises).
The things he said about computers making people crazy is debatable, but an interesting point he made involves the joy he finds in planting a single seed that slowly grows into something he can consume. Too often people are not involved in this process and do not appreciate where and how their food is produced (to paraphrase his thoughts). I am, though partly by birth and a suburban, wealthy (by world standards) upbringing, often guilty of this ignorance or lack of appreciation. However, I do not believe that families individually producing and sustaining their own food is always better--if the family is not given a choice--than purchasing goods from a market.
Thoughts? I hope Aneri will read this and respond :)
So, we had a drink and discussion about urbanization... The "coming-of-age" discussion about Moldova's development. It's interesting, he said that the young people now in Moldova are becoming more like the young people in Italy (where he works). Lazy, not wanting to work on the land, only wanting technology like computers. He said that he believes computers are destroying peoples' minds and lead to psychological illnesses. That developed countries have more people suffering from psychological illness--caused by computers, lack of nature--than somewhere rural like in Moldova. My partners' husband agreed with him that they don't want Moldova to become urban like parts of America and Europe (I am adding the word "parts" into this paraphrase, but I am not assuming that when they spoke about urbanization in America and Europe that they only meant certain "parts"... Most people I have met imagine America and Europe as being covered with sky-rises).
The things he said about computers making people crazy is debatable, but an interesting point he made involves the joy he finds in planting a single seed that slowly grows into something he can consume. Too often people are not involved in this process and do not appreciate where and how their food is produced (to paraphrase his thoughts). I am, though partly by birth and a suburban, wealthy (by world standards) upbringing, often guilty of this ignorance or lack of appreciation. However, I do not believe that families individually producing and sustaining their own food is always better--if the family is not given a choice--than purchasing goods from a market.
Thoughts? I hope Aneri will read this and respond :)
one of the many short videos I made at today's final bell ceremony
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sn276aIDDQs
Two 12th graders dancing to a Russian song
Two 12th graders dancing to a Russian song
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